Welcome to Break the Silence at Vassar.
Check out our About/FAQ page to learn more about the project and our goals of raising awareness about and preventing personal violation and see the answers to some frequently asked questions. Any additional questions you have about the project can be submitted on this page.
If you want to reach out for help or someone to talk to, the Resources page lists organizations both on- and off- campus who can offer you assistance. UPDATE: JYA Resources have been added to the Resources page. Please let us know if you have any suggestions for additional resources, JYA or other.
Additionally, we have a new Get Informed page which offers helpful information regarding some of the language used on this site and elsewhere in conversation about personal violation, as well as suggestions for productive discussion about personal violation.
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TRIGGER WARNING: The stories below contain explicit descriptions of rape, sexual assault, domestic violence, relationship abuse, and other forms of personal violation.
I was 14, you were 25. I told you no, you didn’t listen. I crossed my legs, you opened them wide. I screamed and cried, you thrust inside me. I begged and pleaded, you continued to thrust. I weeped on the bed, you continued to thrust. I let myself go limp, you continued to thrust. I stopped struggling, you continued to thrust. You were my first.
I was ordering a drink at a club when a man, about twenty, started humping me. I told him to go away multiple times, but he ignored me. I knew he was drunk from the alcohol on his breath, the excuse I’ve been using for years. He groped my breasts as drunk onlookers laughed and took pictures. The bartender watched in silence, looking as uncomfortable as I felt. Eventually, the drunk man slobbered on my lips and disappeared into the crowd.
When I was 13, I met a cute teenage boy online, or so I thought. He was acually an old man, about sixty years old. I arranged to meet up with him at a park and got raped. In the public restroom, he locked us in a cubicle and molested me. None of family or friends know. To any readers, please, please don’t give any information to strangers, like I did. I made a mistake which will haunt me for the rest of my life, so please don’t make the same mistake I did.
My half-brother, 17 years older than me, used to molest me when I was 12 to 17, when my parents told him to get his own house. He came into my bedroom at night, no lock to stop him. First, he would roughly kiss my lips, then make his down while taking off my clothes. He made me feel vulnerable in between my legs, but not as vulnerable as when he was inside me. My parents never found out. I was so relieved the day he moved out. I thought I could get on with my life, but I am still scarred. For any victims out there, do not be afraid. Tell somebody who can help, like the police. Rape and sexual harrassment are crimes. By telling someone, you may save other people from becoming victims.
I was gang raped age sixteen. On my way home, a group of five or so boys, late teens or early twenties, ambushed me in the street. They dragged me into an alleyway and stripped me completely. One boy took my virginity while the others kissed and groped me. I felt so violated and helpless as they stole my innocence. The boy inside me went all out, going so hard and fast I thought I would explode. I tried to scream, but there was always someone forcing their tongue in my mouth. I don’t know how long this lasted, but it seemed like forever. They left my clothes when they had enough, leaving me physically and mentally hurt. Three years later, I still feel the pain from that scarring experience.
I thought it was normal to have intercourse with my father because I had been doing it since I was five. He always said everyone did it, so I believed him. My father often made me bleed as he was enormous in my tiny body. This continued even after I hit puberty in my early teens. When I started reading books about teen virgins, I realised it wasn’t normal. I questioned my father and he responded with death threats if I told anyone at all. He continued groping me, feeling me with his tongue and having intercourse with me until I was seventeen.